Snake in the Pantry

You've heard of Snakes on a Plane, but now I bring you....

Snake in the Pantry.

I kid you not.

Sunday night, I was getting ready for a bedtime snack of waffles (I know). I pulled out the waffle iron and then.....gasp:

See it? Look closer:


It was coiled up behind the waffle iron, on the knife sharpener. Scared the pee out of me.

I did what any self-respecting, capable and competent adult woman would do.

"Honey, there's a snake in the pantry. You have to get it out."

Y'all, my husband is a brave man. He really is. But....not so much in the snake department. Justin was, shall we say, a bit apprehensive about fetching the snake for me. My mother-in-law was there, and she also was completely useless. (I love you guys, I really do. Even if you are useless when there's a SNAKE IN THE PANTRY.)

I should clarify. Justin was willing to get the snake, but not in a manner that I was willing to endorse. He was all ready to get the hoe and start chopping, but I put my foot down. I will not, WILL NOT clean up snake blood from all over the inside of my pantry. I WILL NOT have hoe chops and blood stains on my new wood floor.

Hubby was less than enthusiastic about my proposal of BBQ tongs, so I was on my own.

Let me tell you, I got that bad boy. I was already in my bathrobe (see "bedtime" above), so I added boots and the one leather gardening glove that I could find:

(disclaimer: This picture is a reenactment, taken after the fact. Note the carefree laugh.)

I pinned him once with the tongs, but he wiggled out. He then proceeded to crawl all over the pantry, in and out of drawers, eventually settling in the corner behind the crock pot. When Justin pulled out the crock pot (with a ten foot pole), he coiled and hissed at us. Eventually I managed to pin him down with a drawer that I yanked out on his head and grabbed him with two pairs of tongs and threw him in the trash can. He was jumping around in there like crazy, trying to climb out, while I ran across the kitchen with the can, trying not to fall down in my cowboy boots. I kept knocking him back down with the tongs, and yelling "Open the door! Get out of my way! Open the door!" I threw the whole can out the back door, where the kitty Tiger took him down with relish.

Looking back, we probably could have killed it with a hoe without too much bloodshed. Maybe we'll try that next time.

...

de-hunkering

the aftermath of hurricane ike has a strange feeling. we received absolutely no damage; in fact the rain was a benefit. but i have many friends who have no electricity and leaky roofs.

i just saw three black hawk helicopters fly down 290 right out my front door.

on the news i see palettes of FEMA "meal replacement equivalents" being unloaded by guys in camo in familiar areas of houston, near where i used to live. (i'm dying to know if they're any good.)

even my brenham walmart is eerily low on supplies. milk, meat, eggs, water, all completely empty. the parking lot is full of cars and RV's. all of the hotels in our area are full of evacuees.

i just saw an arial view of the energy company headquarters. they had hundreds of trucks. they're bringing crews in from out of state to try to get service back up. i saw several energy trucks going down the highway toward houston this morning. insurance company mobile units, also.

it's always a strange feeling to be on the receiving end of this sort of thing. i'm not receiving any aid or anything, but a city that i love is, and it's weird. i'm used to seeing these images on the news and thinking of them as the other side of the world. but this time they're not. they're close, and familiar.

...

still hunkering

we made it just fine. no flooding or damage in our area. just some wind and rain.

houston is mostly without power. any of my houston friends are welcome to come bunk with us. not that you can read this, i guess.

stay safe.

...

hunker down

i haven't decided yet how i feel about the phrase "hunker down," but i just saw someone on cnn use it with a straight face.

but that's what i'm doing. we're officially in the zone for "hurricane force winds" of 75+mph. the wind is starting to pick up, and it feels weird because it's from the north. you wouldn't think that would be a big deal, but it feels all wrong. the trees look funny, like they're not used to bending that way. the animals are acting weird. the rooster has been crowing all day, and the goats are bleating and restless. justin is letting them into the backyard so they can "hunker down" on the back porch. their barn isn't built yet. this morning we had scores of birds in our pond, fleeing from somewhere.



the white zone is for the 75+ wind. we live by the "m" in brenham.

i was going to load up on flashlights, but heb was sold out of everything except "high school musical" flashlights, so i've got five of those.

it is nice to live close enough to watch houston news. it's been live coverage all day. it's strange to see galveston, where i've been a thousand times. the street that my mil used to live on is underwater; i saw her building on tv.

well, i'd better go fill up the bathtub. i'll post in the morning if i have electricity.

...

wish me luck

Tomorrow is the big day! My licensing exam will be tomorrow and Wednesday.

It's all computerized. The first day and a half are multiple choice, then second afternoon is case-based. It's a strange software with simulated cases. I am presented with a patient and brief history ("65 year old man presents to the emergency room with chest pain"), and then I take it from there. If I want to know vital signs, I click on "order sheet" and type "vital signs" as an order. I don't get any information that I don't ask for . Or I can type "appendectomy" if that's what is needed. (Better not do that for Mr. Chest Pain, though. That would be bad.) Simulated time passes, so if I wait too long to remember the EKG, my patient could die. It's a very odd little software program.

I'm trying to think of it as a video game.

I feel ready, though. Studying has gone well. I could learn more with more time, but I am somewhat back in shape. It feels good to use these old muscles, clear some cobwebs from my brain. The first week or two of studying I couldn't focus for more than an hour or two. But yesterday I made six hours straight with only short breaks, and I could have done lots more if it wasn't time for church. I am happy about the progress I've made.

Big thanks to everyone who's helped out during this time of studying. Thanks to Mamaw and Beth for all of the hours of babysitting so I could study. Thanks to Sandra at the cafe for the gallons and gallons of sweet tea. And thanks honey for your support. I couldn't do it without you.

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"I can't do it by myself"

Listen to what my son just said to me:

Mommy, we've got to clean up this house. There's food on the floor. I'll get the vacuum.

5 minutes later, tangled up with the vacuum hose:

Mommy, can you help me with the vacuum?

10 minutes later, after successfully vacuuming the kitchen:

Mommy, we have GOT to clean up this dad-gum house. There's play-doh and toys on the floor. It's a big, big mess. You've got to help me. I can't do it by myself. I'll get the toys. Will you please put away the cereal?

I promise I'm not a slave driver. I really don't make him clean the house. I did help him after that. ; )

...

school supplies

Does this make anyone else as happy as it makes me?

All that's missing is a bunch of sharp, yellow, real wood #2 pencils. But I never use pencils so I couldn't justify it.

Don't you just want to go write in a college ruled notebook?

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