Saturday, March 27, 2010

Advocate Parenting

I loved this post on Sally Clarkson's blog. Here is a quote:
"[Many parents are] under fear--that if they don't do everything right, it might be their fault if children do not turn out well and if they go astray. So they diligently correct every little immaturity and misbehavior of their children and become the authoritarian parent because someone said that if they didn't correct every little behavior, that they were teaching their children to get away with sin and that this would certainly lead to rebellion. And so they become policemen--watching for the "sin" and bad behavior and treat their children harshly. And instead of enjoying their children, they feel stressed, angry that their children insist on whining and doing things to irritate them all the time."
That hits home for me! I definitely relate. How quickly I forget "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." James 1:19-20.

And how true (and sobering!) is this:
Many people think that our children will only be defiled by the TV, by bad friends, or by the Internet, and yet one of the worst ways they can be defiled is by bitterness in the family!
Maybe I should post this on a wall somewhere, so I won't keep forgetting:
So instead of coming against our kids to inflict vengeance on them when they disappoint us, we come alongside to restore them with grace and to gently teach them the right way to live. So we can say, "I care so much about you that I want to see you succeed in life. This kind of behavior is going to bring you down, so I want to do whatever I can to help you choose better in the future. Now let's talk about it…"
This is parenting that I aspire to, but I fall short everyday. This post was convicting and encouraging for me. If you don't know Sally Clarkson, immediately go get yourself a copy of The Mission of Motherhood. It will do you good.


Traci said...

yep, yep, yep...yes, uh huh!! motherhood....the biggest patience test of my life!!! Thanks for posting!

mandi said...

love me some sally clarkson!

when the kids were younger, and i was facing a busy, lonely summer without john, a mother of 10 told me "just enjoy your children". that bit of advice was a life saver for me. anytime i felt over the top emotionally i would think "just enjoy your children". it worked! that's why they are still living! because, man, that was a hard summer!