I need real, velveteen rabbit sort of relationships--where you are old and worn out together and dirty from sharing life--but it has made you all the more precious to each other.
Sometimes I am so used to being strong and keeping going that I don't even recognize my need for other women. In days of old, people were born into and lived in their community their whole lives......Now, we live apart. ....So, we become used to fending for ourselves--taking care of all the details of life alone--and then suddenly we poop out and wonder where God has gone.
And husbands cannot fill all of our need for love that was meant to be filled by a community of people who loved us and by a gaggle of women who could share in all the feminine things of life--getting pregnant, bearing under morning sickness, living through the sleepless nights, nursing our babies, raising our children--cooking, cleaning, living loving--all to be shared with Titus 2 women who could come alongside us in love, friendship, spiritual and emotional and practical help.
What pressure we put on our husbands to fill us up and meet all of our needs for love, when God never intended one person to be able to do all of that!
"A gaggle of women"---I love that! One of the things I find most interesting about primitive cultures, such as in rural African villages, is the community of women. They live together all day, with the children together, doing chores alongside one another. Sounds kind of nice, doesn't it? I don't mean to romanticize it; modernity certainly has its advantages. But I can stand to learn much from my sisters there...
Let's not forget what Jesus prayed for us (JESUS PRAYED FOR US!) in John 17 (emphasis mine):
20"I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, SO THAT the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, 23I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.This passage is one of my favorites. I blogged about it here.
I love and need this type of community, and would like to see more of it especially with my women friends. You are beloved, but the stuff of life gets in the way all too often. May God grace us with perspective and time together.
i would be happy to be your velveteen rabbit kind of friend...more than happy ; ).
this is a great article. i totally relate to it. i find my self that way especially in the summer. when john is gone or busy for the most of it, instead of reaching out, i hunker down. trying my best to make it without him around. it seems to make a lot more sense to reach out instead of in. i was making jam this week and i thought..."this would be so much more fun if it was shared with a friend".
you have to know that my greatest dream is to live in a communal village where we all work and live and dream and worship side by side. every. day.
Thank you for sharing. This is something that I have thought about a lot in the last few years. As much as I want John to be able to give me everything I need...he can't. We need women/mommy/girl friends. We are so important for each other. Last night I shared some pretty personal girl stuff with John and got a "oh my gosh, why did you just tell me that" look and thought "yeah...shoulda called a girl" ;)
Thanks again for sharing your feeling on this subject.
OK, this is kind of random...but have you ever looked at this blog?
She's a MD too but now stays home w/ her young girls. I love her blog, and she seems like someone you'd love too.
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